i am fascinating no matter what

weird: adj. of strange or extraordinary character...

my job is not by any stretch of the imagination weird. not by this definition. or any definition. but every now and then during the day i'll let my mind wander into the vicinity of what i'm getting paid to do.

and when that happens, as it just did, i think to myself:

why is everyone in Incline always freaking outout?

then i go back to whatever i was doing.

see? told ya. fascinating

inexplicable

today at lunchtime i went out to the grassy area next to my office and read the Word for a while while this tree looked nonchalantly on.

what?

[i'd just like to clarify that this photo is not doctored. i downloaded it directly from my camera. apparently this tree will by my disinterested lunchtime reading partner.]

beautiful

mercy and judgment. they are not opposites.

the church is always trying to find a balance between the wrathful God and the merciful one. Christians are either the ones who believe in a love everyone, forgive everyone God, or the God of hell and damnation.

but the beauty is that He is both. and neither. He does love everyone. and He does not take sin lightly. He forgives freely. and He requires repentance.

"He is shaking the world with mercy and judgment."

if He were not a God of judgment and justice He would not be a God of mercy.

because without the need for justice and judgment there can be no mercy. mercy is not helping people who are in need. that is compassion.

it was out of His compassion that Jesus healed the sick and fed the poor. it was because of His mercy that He died and took our sins on Himself and, more importantly, overcame death and rose again. because someone had to do it and we never could. someone had to bridge that uncrossable chasm between a sinful people and a sinless God.

if your friend doesn't owe you money, you are not being merciful by not demanding money from him. if he owes you $1,000, then to let that debt go is a huge act of mercy.

if a man has not committed a crime, the judge is not showing mercy by releasing him from prison. if he has committed a murder, then to spare his life is an act of mercy.

but it's not just that God forgave our sins. it's the fact that Jesus paid what I owe. He died the death i deserved. THAT is mercy.

it is because we owe God so much and deserve such harsh judgment that He is able to show us mercy.

do we know how to have a good time or what?

i know what you are all thinking. you are all thinking, "how can i ever do something as intelligent AND fun as this? how did these people get so dang cool?"

well i am here to help. all you need for a rousing game of carpet joust and/or carpet limbo is some foam noodles, a few assorted items from the dollar toy rack at target, a large stretch of carpet, and most importantly, friction-free carpet-slider strap-on shoes, also available at target.

so stop being so jealous.

luke 1:45

okay so i realize i've been pretty severely neglecting this blog. i apologize. things at work have gotten very busy lately (praise God) and i rarely spend my off-work time on the internet because, well, i have a life.

so this is mainly just a status report. because i know that my (let's just be honest, shall we?) massive reader base must be truly suffering from the lack of knowing what's going on with Kate.

so let me fill you in.

someone said "to have found God and still pursue Him is the soul's paradox of love." i love that. i love the paradox that is a relationship with God. the constant moving forward, the growing pains and the constant comfort.

knowing that i am wrong so very very often and knowing at the same time that He takes pleasure in me and gives mercy with great joy. seeing so so so many times lately my tremendous shortcomings, my immaturity, my sin. and yet being genuinely joyful because what He does for a redeemed soul is too precious to waste on remorse and frustration with myself.

sometimes my heart is breaking.

i realize that is not a correct sentence but (at least to me) it best describes what happens. sometimes my heart is breaking. and i want so badly to do or say something to make things better but i realize that i can't. and God has been very very clear on this one.

"wait this out," He says to me. "trust Me. wait. trust. wait. trust." so i wait. and i trust. and even though my heart hurts and i'm frustrated... i trust. and i know from many many experiences that when you hear God say to wait and trust and against everything your flesh wants, you choose to do so... that He is. always. faithful.

all that being said, it's not the biggest thing that's happening with me so don't feel sorry for me. pray for me if you pray. but let this be known. that the biggest thing that's happening with me is victory. a certain foe of mine that's been with me for so long it very nearly became a friend... is vanquished.

Jesus is good. and faithful. and beautiful. and words are such unworthy companions in the task of describing Him. every last one of them fails miserably to do Him justice and when we open our mouths and spill our worn out cliches it only throws the weaknesses of our language into sharp relief.

what my soul would say...

anyway. all this sounds really dramatic. i don't know. what am i really trying to say?

merciful Jesus. i want to fall more in love with You.

just don't bother calling my house...

my roommate sabrina is moving out at the end of the month.

this means there will be three people living in my house, including me. both of the other two are named katie.

it's a fun house. katie, katie and kate. or kate, katie and katie. or katie, kate and katie.... i dunno.

also neither katie has a car or a driver's license. both katies work at dennys.

to add to the confusion, there are several people who insist on calling me "katie" no matter how many times i ask them not to.

on the upside, we have a lot of fun answering the phone.