This is what I get paid for

I moved into a new house this weekend. Shortly afterward Sarah moved into my armoire.

So anyway. I now have two roommates, Katie and Sabrina.

Katie’s completely insane so we get along most of the time. Sabrina … well she’s Sabby. I also have like 400 pets all of a sudden, which is interesting since none of them are mine.

Katie’s cat, Jeremiah, I have an understanding with. He knows I hate cats. He’s okay with it. We nod disdainfully at each other as we pass in the hall and that’s the extent of our communication. But our relationship is based on mutual respect for our enemy. That’s why we get along.

Sabrina’s cats have a different philosophy. Princess, for instance, took one look at me and said, almost audibly, “Oh you hate cats do you? From now on I’ll sleep on your face.”

We cuddle.

So if you wonder why I haven’t updated in a while, it is because every single time I go to write something I find out I have absolutely nothing funny to say. I mean nothing.

It’s very depressing. I went back through my old posts last week, which was my first mistake. That’s when I found out that I used to be much funnier. Probably because I was more cynical during election season. I no longer get all worked up about politics and as a sad byproduct, I no longer have any edgy comedic columns to post. But hey, maybe I’m just in a rut. I’m sure I’ll make a comeback. How could I not? I mean do you remember how funny I used to be? Seriously.

In the meantime, here are a few fun facts to chew on.

According to http://www.md.lp.org/weird_laws.html, everyone walking on the streets of Elko, Nevada is required by law to wear a mask, and men in Eureka who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.

Frogs have teeth.

The king of hearts is the only king with a moustache.
If you question my sources on any of these things or think you need verification that they are true…get a life.