San Francisco: Spanish for "gone off the deep end"

I really don’t think the word “arbitrary” is used enough in conversation. So there you have it okay? I’m just putting it out there. What you do about it is up to you.

So I went to San Francisco for the first part of Labor Day weekend.

I know what you’re thinking. Clearly she’s lost her mind. What moron would go to San Francisco? For any reason? Ever? And on Labor Day Weekend? Stupid!

Well, you’re right. I mean let’s not beat around the bush. It was a great trip, in that I got to do a lot of God’s work while I was there and hang out with some of the coolest people I know by far (two of whom I could have hung out with in Carson, so that doesn’t really help my case).

But the plain and simple fact is, I hate San Francisco. Not because it is full of sin and decadence (I live in Nevada – home of legalized prostitution, gambling, and Burning Man – we’ve got our own vices to worry about), but because the entire city is insane. Especially the roads.

Driving in that city is basically a recipe for disaster – at least I think. I wouldn’t know. We took my car but I made Sarah do all the driving – simultaneously making fun of her and profusely thanking her the entire time. I’m lucky she didn’t push me out the passenger door. Come to think of it she probably would have if she hadn’t been vigilantly focused on not dying the entire time.

So here are some of the things that happened while we were there.

We planned to visit the sightseeing places (the Golden Gate Bridge, Pier 39, Fisherman’s Warf, etc.). Instead we went to this great church that Sarah’s friend Barbara will soon be working for. We met the pastor’s wife and kids, who were cleaning it, so we volunteered to help. The odd thing was how surprised they were by this.

“Really?” they asked. “Are you sure?”

Of course we’re sure! We’re here, right? We’re Christians and we’re in your church. It made perfect sense to us. It’s kind of sad that Christians are so surprised when others are willing to serve. Isn’t that what we’ve all been called to do? Jesus told us to wash each other’s feet for crying out loud.

We helped the outreach director move after that. We did some serious prayer time that night and then went to do outreach. We were promoting a concert that included some Christian bands at a bar downtown. We handed out flyers and stuff, but since Amy and Sarah are under 21, didn’t go the actual concert. It was a kind of outreach I don’t often get the chance to do, being from Carson City, and the enemy would like me to believe I was a complete failure at it. Thank God for grace.

Sarah drove the wrong way on a one-way street. It took her a really long time to figure out what was going on. I guess she thought all four lanes of traffic headed directly at us were drunk drivers. It really wasn’t her fault. They should put signs up or something. I mean they did, but they should make them more visible.

On the way home, after three hours of sleep and on the first day of a coffee fast for me, I was driving in stop and go traffic on the freeway. Sarah and Amy were asleep, or mostly. I said, mostly to myself, “I wonder if this would be a good time to learn how to drive with both feet.”

Seconds later I tried to brake with my left foot and we came to a halt far more suddenly than I expected, waking both the girls up and causing more than one quizzical look from other drivers who were probably either questioning my sobriety or wondering if I’d just come from San Francisco. Oddly, not everyone thought it was as funny as I did.
In my defense I’m kind of an idiot.