No longer a journalist

I am writing this (much awaited, no doubt) column or whatever you want to call it on my lunch break. That's right, folks, I got a job.

No longer a soldier, no longer a journalist, I am now ... wait for it ... a marketing coordinator for a real estate company.

As stuffy and corporate as that may sound, believe me it is. No, I'm just kidding. It's basically a glorified ad designer, and even though I have to dress up for work now (no combat boots - it's in the regulation) I like designing ads. It's fun.

I work a half-hour drive away from home, but it's a lovely (horrifyingly dangerous) drive up to Lake Tahoe.

Meanwhile I live with a whole crowd of folks - my sister, brother-in-law, nephew, niece and random friend - in a little two-bedroom house, but it's not that bad ... usually.

There was this incident the other night. In my sleep I reached for my teddy bear (so what? shut up) and thought I found it. Turns out it was my friends (we share a really, really large bed, just until my sister and her family move out in a few months).

I woke up just in time to see her leaning over me, teeth bared, snatching it away. For a minute I didn't realize what was happening. What a jerk, I thought to myself. What kind of person would steal a teddy bear? That's so mean.

But as soon as I saw that it was hers, I laughed ... which only served to make her angrier. What a jerk, she thought to herself. What kind of person would steal a teddy bear and then laugh about it. Sicko.

Don't worry, though, we got it all worked out in the morning.

So nice talkin' to you all again, and see you soon.

Oh, did you want something biting, funny and political? Sorry. Check out Ann Coulter's column on Bill Moyers. www.anncoulter.org.