For crying out loud, let it go

John Kerry wanted to honor Martin Luther King Jr., on the day set aside for honoring him (whether he deserves to be honored is not the topic, my dear Washington readers), so he spoke at a breakfast in Boston Monday.

The topic of his speech? What else? Voter suppression and its role in the election, of course! After all, we all know that whatever his faults, King would have voted for Kerry … wait.

Anyway, Kerry blames “suppressed” voters for his loss in the election.

I, on the other hand, blame voter suppression for his coming so close to winning in the first place.

Kerry said voting machines were distributed unevenly. In democratic districts, voters had to wait in line for hours while republicans got to vote in 10 minutes, he said. “Same voting machines, same process, our America.”

Dare I suggest – just based on evidence from the 2000 election – that delays could have been caused by democrats’ lack of ability to understand how the voting machines worked? I mean seriously, if you can’t figure out how to draw an arrow pointing at the candidate you want to vote for, how are you supposed to figure out a machine with a lever? Maybe each one just stood there waiting for something to happen.

It’s like that episode of “The Simpsons” where they build a giant escalator to nowhere and then people just ride to the top and fall off one at a time. Okay, it’s nothing like that. But that was a funny episode.

Anyway, I don’t really think democrats are stupid. Not all of them are. But I thought crazed Kerry supporters shooting at Republican Party headquarters, breaking into them, forcing staff to hide in closets, stealing Bush signs, vandalizing cars and property – I thought that looked kind of like voter suppression.

I thought standing outside voting booths asking people who they were voting for, then shouting at and harassing those who voted for Bush was kind of like voter intimidation.

But seriously, is anyone surprised? I mean it’s not like we’ve never seen a liberal accuse a conservative of insane behavior merely to draw attention away from his own engagement in that exact behavior.

Am I saying Republicans were innocent of trying to influence the outcome of the election? Of course not. Every party has its scoundrels. We just have fewer of them.

Kerry also mentioned that we can hardly bring democracy to Iraq when we don’t even have it here. Of course it goes without saying that if Kerry had won the election, we would have democracy here. It’s also quite likely that if he were in the White House we wouldn’t hear quite as much from him about the electoral reform he’s been championing.

Here is my advice to liberals. Do what your own Web site suggests. Move on. It’s over, you lost, build a bridge and get over it, as they said in kindergarten.

Also, next time try hiring a campaign manager who has something better than a 0-8 record for winning presidential campaigns. Just a thought.