A painfully insignificant number of Brits find Israel annoying

In an online survey conducted by the Telegraph, 2,058 British people with very little to do have ranked Israel ‘not good’ as far as countries go.

The survey, conducted over three days in December, asked a series of trite questions in which Britons agreed for the most part that Israel is not good at all (although Russia actually scored lower overall), according to The Jerusalem Post.

Despite being God’s chosen, apparently Israel is the country most Britons would least prefer to live in or visit for holidays. This is similar to how they felt during their occupation of it some time ago.

Israel is also, apparently, the least friendly, just under France and Germany. It is the least democratic country, and the least deserving of international respect.

In a separate survey, Muslim extremists voted Israel the best country in which to blow oneself up in order to receive a martyr’s reward in heaven. Not surprisingly, Iraq was second on the list.

Britons also agreed Israel was the least beautiful country.

Oddly, Israel was not ranked the least safe country. That prize was given to America.

When someone mentioned to Israel’s ambassador to England, Zvi Hefetz, that British people were not fond of his country, he replied correctly that the poll was “no big deal.”

“Other polls show that 49 percent of Britons wouldn’t even want to live in their own country,” he pointed out helpfully.

Jerusalem Post readers responded similarly to the poll, presumably after expressing irritation at such a ridiculous and insignificant poll making the news at all.

David Cohen, of Tel Aviv, noted that the three countries Britons preferred overall (Australia, New Zealand and Canada) were “three of their aging empire’s gems” and that most of the people surveyed had probably gotten no closer to any of the countries than a few photographs. In all fairness, neither have I.

Shane Loughton, a British gentleman from Birmingham, UK, pointed out that not all Britons are shallow and biased. He said Israel is his favorite place on earth, but mentioned that reluctance to live there might be related to the fact that “it is well known that extremist Muslim terrorists are constantly firing rockets and blowing up their children in Israel.” He also said the news rarely broadcasts stories about the beauty of the Negev, so the Britons had little information to go from on that front.

I personally would like to vote Iraq the least beautiful country in the world, with Kuwait running a close second, in case anyone is interested. I’d also like to vote Britain’s media as “no better than America’s” (which is not a nice thing to say, in case you’re not aware of my views on the media), having worked with several British news organizations in Iraq. However, I would vote French media the “least friendly.”

I can’t mock this poll too much, as I am responsible for similar surveys, such as “Should Florida secede from the union?” but at least I had the good sense to poll only myself.