Secret tapes reveal Bush to be pretty much what he claims to be

If President Bush has a serious fault, I would say it’s that he’s not a great judge of character.

But maybe that’s too harsh. After all, why would he think a close friend who was, among other things, his father’s former aide and an Assembly of God minister would secretly tape their conversations?

But that’s just what Doug Wead did, while Bush was still the governor of Texas. He said he did it because he viewed Bush as an historic figure and never intended the tapes would be released in his lifetime. Nevertheless, the tapes were released, and though not all their contents have been made public, they’ve pretty much failed to reveal any shocking scandals about the president, much to the media’s dismay.

Here are some things the tape revealed.

1. Bush smoked weed *gasp* when he was younger. Well, okay. So did Clinton, Gore, and 75 percent of the people I’ve ever known. That’s no excuse, but since we all knew Bush used to be an alcoholic, it’s hardly scandal material.

Especially in light of Bush’s comments on the subject. He criticized Al Gore for admitting to smoking weed and said he would not have answered a similar question because, “I don’t want some little kid doing what I tried.” What a deviant whacko! He realizes that as the governor of a huge state, he might be looked up to and doesn’t want children to think its okay to smoke weed!

2. Bush refuses to discriminate against homosexuals. He said on the tapes, he would not “kick” gay people because he is a sinner. “How can I differentiate sin?” he asked. The story did not mention whether he pronounced “differentiate” correctly.

For those who want to get offended that he thinks homosexuality is a sin, well, get over it. We all know Bush is a Christian. Everyone is entitled to his own opinion. The point is that he will not allow his beliefs to be grounds for discrimination against anyone.

At one point on the tape, Wead said to Bush, “He’s saying you promised you would not appoint gays to office,” to which Bush replied, “No, what I said was I wouldn’t fire gays. I’m not going to discriminate.”

3. Bush considered John Ashcroft to be a potential U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Okay. Nothing shocking there. Liberals think Bush and Ashcroft are the devil. On the other side I’ve heard speculation that Hillary Clinton might be the anti-Christ.

So, we haven’t heard what was on all the tapes, but so far I haven’t heard anything outrageous or incriminating. In fact, it would appear Bush holds the same beliefs in his private life he claims before the nation.

I wonder, if someone had taped John Kerry for nine hours without his knowledge, what would that reveal?

Now that I think of it, I’m glad no one did that to Bill Clinton. No one would want to hear those tapes.