thanks...

a few years ago i was dating this guy. he was kind of a jerk but that's really not relevant to anything at the moment. anyway, whenever he would hear me complaining about something pointless that i could just as easily overlook, he would turn to me and say

"hey you know what helps with that? shuttin' the hell up"

as mean as that is, i think it's hilarious. technically he had a good point. last week i mentioned it in passing to a few friends. we laughed.

so that's the plot exposition. the following is a phone call that took place this morning to sarah.

me: can i tell you what just happened to me?

sarah: sure

me: so i'm on my way to work, as i tend to be at this time of day. and i can't turn around. there's a cement divider. and i got coffee on the way to work, as i tend to do. and just now i picked up the coffee and the lid popped off and it just exploded. everywhere. i mean it's all over me. all over my seat, my clothes, dripping off my steering wheel, it's everywhere. i mean everywhere.

pause

sarah: hey you know what helps with that?