created to dance...

someone said to me last night, "you were created to live." he said i should live. i should dance. i should laugh. i should not lose the blue of the sky and the breath of the wind and the creation of God because i am living in my hurts and disappointments and the things that i've lost that i miss.

he said sunset and sunrise are so beautiful because they are always colliding.

and i decided right then that "collide" is a powerful word and when i write i will never use it lightly - like to describe amusing hallway mishaps and whatnot. is that a strange reaction?

and it wasn't cheesy at all. it was amazing. everything he said was so vibrant and it woke something up in me that i had been aching for. it made me want to live the life abundant that Jesus came to give me.

now ... generally i don't dance in front of people. that is because dancing is a strange and unnatural thing for me to do. i want to dance, but i am awkward. what can i say? but i'm pretty sure that wasn't the point.

the point was i've lost my joy. where do i find it again? not where i've been looking for it. but right now, this moment, i choose to live my life in my identity... the one Jesus gave me, not the one i tried to siphon from other people.

i've made so many mistakes. big ones. and i'm going to make more.

but moment by moment i am redeemed.

that's good news, isn't it?